Monday, June 30, 2008

Let's Trade Mixtapes!

You should have heard me, strolling along the overpass, twirling my paper parasol, singing an obscure, Olivia Newton John song, at the top of my lungs. And then a little something by Prince. And then of course, The Bee Gees. And . . . Lola Falana? GOD, how I miss the power of the mixtape. The good old cassette, or as the French say, K7.

Sigh, times, they do change . . . digital music compilations. Whoopee. Mixtapes were better-- just not the same as “shuffle.” It’s not the same as a“playlist,”is it? Mixtapes were tactile. Remember how the ribbon would get caught in your sister’s player, and it was like the end of your world? Winding the tape back, feeling the little white plastic teeth around your finger?Ahh, those were the days. . . if you’re looking for a place to listen to loads of “mixtapes,” and maybe upload one of your own, check out

Yeah, they had some problems earlier in the year with clever hackers giving them the slip, but Muxtape is back up and bringing you a smörgåsbord of streaming MP3s. Before you upload your own mixtape du jour, why not check out these great, old-school jams?

CBT’s Closet
This etsy store has “Square Pegs” written all over it! Resin-e-goodness in every bite! Pretty, killer pills, talismans with She Ra embedded in them, and these great mixtape earrings!

Beta 2.0

Now, THIS is what I’m talking about. This Mixed Tape Ninja T-shirt could make me revert to the days when I slept with the things I loved. Wait. I still do that. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. Wear it to bed, to work, to play pinball, let your beau or your lady wake up in it the morning after. Hmm. . . why did Devendra Banhart just streak across my mind? Because he’s delicious. Devendra, let's trade mixtapes!

Beta from Victoria, BC makes great silkscreen t-shirts that remind me of my high school years. These tees look like the ones the senior boys wore during band practice, slightly too tight with a rip, imperceptibly forming under a brazen, silken armpit. TMI. Sorry. . .

Once you go vinyl, it’s FINAL. . .

Maybe you’re into the groove, shielding your priceless record collection in a climate-controlled cellar, next to your vintage wines. Then represent with Gossip Gossip’s record messenger bags. Gossip Gossip's original design is made from recycled records and canvas. From Beijing to Utica, New York, where the magic happens, Gossip Gossip is like the shot heard round the world.

Speaking of that, have a GREAT, safe Fourth of July, and don’t forget to storm the Bastille on July 14th!

Friday, June 27, 2008

Gaze through the digital peep-show window, my pretty!

Well, well, well. . . finally we're getting hip to the ways in which London swings-- Showtime is airing the first season of the show based on the true-life annals of lady of the night, Belle du Jour. The Secret Diary of a Call Girl stars the lovely Billie Piper, also known as the intrepid Rose Tyler, from my favorite, and yours, Doctor Who. You might recall that I wrote about Diary in a previous post, some four months ago. HA! (Go back in time. . .)

I was excited to see that Diary had been picked up by an American network. I thought, hey, this is BRILLIANT, now us poor state side fools can expose ourselves to Belle, without having to sheepishly gaze at her tale through the digital peep-show window known as You Tube. Let's all have exciting, racy, dirty FUN with Belle-- a modern, high-priced courtesan who loves her job.

If you have watched the show, then you know it's not all johns and condoms-- there's a STORY there. Belle's "alter ego" is Hannah-- a well-educated young woman with a conventional London lifestyle, just trying to juggle friends, family, and her busy calendar. It's not like non-stop Emmanuelle action, all right?

I was taken aback, I guess, as shows like Access Hollywood and Extra (yes, OKAY, I watch them both-- don't hate) slanted their coverage on Diary like it was the latest show to corrupt the nation's youth, like they'd all go blind or blond, from watching it. Come on. Listen, I've heard dirtier talk by the "youth" at my bus stop, woozy from the gaseous haze of their own pheromones. I've seen more skin on installments of Survivor, turning mid-drift to mid RIFT.

The WORST is calling Ashley Duprey the American version of Belle. Hardly. I would rather walk on my lips than talk trash about a real person, so I'll just say that Miss Duprey is nothing like Belle. I mean first off, Belle gets a better exchange rate, considering that the dollar is still "going down." And who wants to work harder for LESS? Work smarter, not harder. Speaking of hard these etsy stores light my fire:

Venus Flytrap Jewels
Ohhh, yesssss. These fantastic cuff links by London's Venus Flytrap Jewels are perfect for a naughty night about town. Or, stay in-- whatever you like. These mature cufflinks are decoupaged, double varnished and sealed for your protection and your lust. The illustration comes courtesy of erotic artist, John Willie (read about him in Denise Dowling's article).

What a sexy, almost graphic novel sort of way to show off your fashion fetish! Strap these on your partner and prepare to feel the heat. Sign language anyone? Talk about a hand job.

All about Belle

I'd remiss if I didn't mention Belle Lettres's store again. I LOVE her laminate illuminations, taking ordinary slips of paper and turning them into wearable unmentionables! Miss thing has expanded her store and her style, adding timeless watches, tasty charms and sexy chokers to her line. This artist has a lot going on, and you can find out all about it right here. I wrote about Belles Lettres in a previous entry-- go back in time to check it out.

Well, I'm off to blend my liquid breakfast. Yes, I'm STILL working the juicer and watching my flab evaporate! Things would go a lot faster if I actually exercised, I suppose. . .

See ya next time!

Monday, June 16, 2008

Making a B-line for A-line skirts!

A slight miracle has occurred. It's not water to wine, or the statue of the virgin crying, but. Well, yesterday I got into my skinny pants. Yeah, I know. Pretty incredible. When I say I got into them, I mean I didn't have to stretch out on the bed, or coat myself in baby powder, and I didn't have to use a whip to get my bodacious butt to play nice. No protests, no empty threats. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! And, I can almost sit down in them! Sigh. . .

When I say skinny pants, I mean pants that are really a size 16, but don't have elastic in them. Remember when they made jeans for robust, urban neo-viking women like me that didn't have some kind of space-age fiber woven into them? Yeah, these jeans are kinda old. Are bell bottoms still cool? I do miss the 70s-- disco, the afro, Gene Rayburn and Match Game.

Anyway, it feels pretty good to look in the mirror and see that my behind is no longer defying the laws of physical dimension. Hmm. It's actually a little too hot for pants anyway, so I'm making a B-line for A-line skirts!

Why the A-line skirt? Well, it give, GIVES a robust butt some room. The shape is adorable and flattering. If the pencil skirt is the bad girl, then the A-line is her pretty sidekick/best friend, who might not necessarily get the guy, but she CAN step lively without falling on her face.

Puton Verbenero
Oh-oh-OH I LOVE Puton Verbenero's skirts! Based in Barcelona, these stretch-knit skirts with the bold flower block and matte black panels are sophisticated and playful at the same time. I love that you can fold the waistline up if you'd like the skirt to hit you at the knee, or longer, if you fold the band down. With a shape like mine, if this skirt were ALL flower print I'd look like a bush in full bloom-- all black, and it would be too serious for summer (although the back of the skirt is solid back-- with is MUCH appreciated!!)

Puton Verbernero embodies an attitude of sassy AND classy. Stroll the famous Ramblas in the Barri Gotic and feel the light follow you in this beautiful skirt. Yes, I've been to Barcelona. I'd really like to be in Barcelona right now! My first stop would be Juicy Jones, the organic, vegan eatery. I LOVE that place!

Evil Ruby
If you're looking for the A-line skirt, reinvisioned then look no further than Evil Ruby's etsy shop. Evil Ruby takes mixes and matches bold fabrics to create something FUN, young and wild. Evil Ruby's skirts make me enjoy being a girl! They also remind me of that new TV Show Swingtown, about hot couples in the cool suburbs. 70s and Sexy.

Well, it's time again for my liquid lunch. This is getting a little old. Any suggestions for blended fruit drinks I can try?

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Nothing But Begley's Best

I don't mean to harp on the carbon, but let's face it, we're a generation away from having to put a climate controlled dome around this entire place. And what's with the mutant tomatoes? Does that screw up the whole, "spirits in the tomatoes" business for Scientologists? I mean no disrespect, ya know. . . it's just that, I read something about an "E-Meter" and L. Ron Hubbard hooking it up to a tomato that was an ancestor or a cousin or something. I'm afraid to fact-check this-- I could fall into a crack in time. I may already know too much.

ANYWAY. . . until we're all sealed in an air-tight amusement park, and growing a tomato army, I'm going to do all I can to not piss mother nature off. And to do so, I will accept nothing but Begley's Best.

Yes, actor/environmentalist, Ed Begley, Jr. has his own spot remover in an easy-pump bottle. Hell, I'll buy it just to have Ed's puss on it. Brilliant. Can't believe it? Visit Darryl Hannah's website and see for yourself.

“Live simply so others may simply live.” --Ed Begley, Jr.
I'm with you there, pal. And, I'm strangely attracted to you. IS THAT WRONG???

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Burn with me, Martha. BURN WITH ME.

Umm. . . I don't know if you know this but, the East Coast of the US is on FIRE. Here in Southern New England, it's already 95 degrees and it's not even noon. Last night I slept with an oscillating fan positioned close enough to shave my unsightly facial hair, and this morning, in an effort to reduce my carbon footprint to a tip-toe, because clearly this is the US's fault, I WALKED to the grocery store (I don't own a car, actually). Didn't even as much as produce methane gas on the way there or back. Carried a five pound bag of f-ing organic carrots up the hill and sang along to Earth Wind and Fire while twirling my parasol. I'm officially a loon. Burn with me, Martha. BURN WITH ME. Carbon Footprint? I laugh.

Needless to say I'm too delirious to write about A-line skirts today, as I'd planned. All I can think about is my copious thigh parts rubbing together and starting some kind of blaze. Don't laugh-- the incidences of spontaneous combustion are not as rare as one might think. But I tell you what is like a cool breeze to my crazed little mind: Damien Weighill's Blog. Send Damien a picture of yourself, and in return he'll draw a picture of you and post it to his blog. Looks like he took some liberties with the Queen. Someone's got to.

A doodle by artist Damien Weighill.
(Would you like Damien's artwork on a t-shirt? By all means go to

Okay then, off to juice up those carrots!

Monday, June 2, 2008

My Time Lord and Savior

I KNEW those friggin comic books were a gateway drug. . .

I have re-geeked. Meaning, I was a geek, when I was a kid. . . you know. . . asymmetrical clothing, eating factoids with milk, like it was a breakfast cereal, playing five different instruments in the high school musical. Imagine where I'd be if I wasn't trying to be liked by the cool kids. Probably sucking down adult beverages on my yacht, cackling over my dubious Google shareholdings. SIGH. . .

But somehow through the magic of the internet my teen temple has been found, intact. The lost well of my youth discovered, still full of a healing elixir to sooth the grown-up who just can't get enough of space travel, exploding planets, and reptilian aliens suffering from megalomania. No, I'm not talking about Dick Cheney. I'm talking about the amazing adventures of my Time Lord and Savior, Doctor Who!

I started watching fuzzy, crackling episodes of the show on PBS, when I was tween. Back in the day, the Doctor was the illustrious Tom Baker, Doctor #4, now you can see him as a crazy old patriarch in reruns of Monarch of the Glen (does anyone know what I’m talking about??)But ooohhh honey. . . the latest Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey is Scotsman David Tennant, Doctor #10. Yeah, I'm completely smitten-- with him, and the show. Yes, the show has those hokey, space moments, bleeping lights and such, but the sets are AMAZING, the actors are BBC-fantastic, and the writing is out of this world.

Ummm. . . I think I'm starting to mutate. I'm listening to an unusual amount of Devo, and I'm starting to consider the purchase of action figures. HELP!

Better check out etsy first. . .

Miss Gillian
I saw this and I FLIPPED. It's a knitted, iPod cover version of the TARDIS-- The Doctor's spaceship. Yeah, it looks a wee bit small right? I mean, it's just a Police phone booth. Look again. The TARDIS is a roomy spacepad for our 904 year-old bachelor. Miss Gillian made her "Blue Box" from 100% pure wool.

Arch Delineator
Zack Raithel's Original Stencil Paintings are awfully haunting, and we count the shadows in these post-apocalyptic images.

Though not dedicated to the Time Lord specifically, this piece, called Doctor Stencil reminds me of the Episode 2 Season 8 of Doctor Who where The Doctor and his assistant, Donna Noble, travel in time to Pompeii a day before Mount Vesuvius erupts!

Just what the Doctor ordered. . .

Porterness's little blue pill earrings have the mark of intergalactic space travel written all over them.

If I were Martha Jones, the Doctor's assistant from Season 3, I would wear these. Hoping the Doctor would notice. How can a man with TWO hearts not love the gorgeous and smart, Ms. Jones?

Not in this lifetime, missy. The Doctor can't stop thinking about his long lost Rose Tyler. ROSE ROSE ROSE!

Come fly with me. . .
Mock the Rock
So tempting-- leaving home to travel with the Doctor, through space and time. This notebook is the perfect place to store your memories, kinda like the Doctor did in the double episode from season three where he and Ms. Jones hid from "The Family" at a boarding school in 1913. Check out all of Mock the Rock's notebooks-- they're pretty fab.

Devil and Mouse

Ohhh. . . must have the custom-made, TARDIS brooch. Devil and Mouse have a ton of cool pendants and such, but this one warms my two hearts.

Well. . . it's nearly three in the afternoon, and time for my infusion of liquid fruits and vegetables. Don't want to end up a host for the Adipose fat babies:

Yearly Check-up

Just getting back to earth. . . I've been off with the Doctor.

Gotta get with the interface, upgrade the downloads, and such.
More tomorrow!